For those who are givers, carers, and empaths, a guide to focusing that energy on yourself—even if that feels frightening, from popular LGBTQ+ activist and advocate Jeffrey Marsh.

Product Code: 9157
ISBN: 9780593541173
Format: Paperback / softback
Publisher: TarcherPerigee
Pages: 256
Published Date: 05/16/2023
Availability:In stock
Price: $18.00

Like many of us, Jeffrey Marsh was conditioned to have an outward focus—to give to others, to be a good listener, and to be the one who gave the best advice. In Marsh’s case, it was a method of survival. Growing up genderfluid in an unaccepting family, Marsh did everything they could to meet the needs of others and not have needs of their own. And ultimately, this meant Marsh put themself in the backseat of their own life.

In this heartfelt and sincere book, Marsh shares their story and the lessons they learned on the path back to themselves. Whether you’re a survivor of abuse and trauma like Marsh or you’ve passively accepted that your worth ought to be defined by your usefulness to others, Take Your Own Advice will give you the confidence to lead your life on your terms, and to prioritize what’s important: you.

It’s time that you learn to put yourself first, to take care of yourself, and to ask others to listen to you for a change. You do give the best advice, after all!

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Being “That Way”

Part 1
Strengthen Your Relationship with Yourself
Chapter 1: Stop Trying to Be Confident and Start Unconditionally Accepting Yourself
Chapter 2: Stop Trying to Be Authentic and Start Speaking from the Authority of Your Experience
Chapter 3: Stop Saying “I Don’t Know What to Do” and Start Admitting That You’re Just Afraid to Do the Wrong Thing
Dear Little Jeffrey, Age Six

Part 2
Change Your Dynamic with Others
Chapter 4: Stop Trying to Belong and Start Creating the Spaces You Want to Belong To
Chapter 5: Stop Trying to Control What Other People Think of You and tart Changing What You Think of You
Chapter 6: Stop Trying to Avoid Anger and Start Standing Up to Abuse
Dear Little Jeffrey, Age Thirteen

Part 3
Embody the Spiritual Principles of Fearlessness
Chapter 7: Stop Trying to Get Your Life Together and Start Enjoying Unpredictability
Chapter 8: Stop Trying to Avoid Your Pain and Start Wearing Your Pain as a Badge of Honor
Dear Little Jeffrey, Age Eighteen

Further Reading
About the Author

"At a time when 'self-care' can mean many things, Jeffrey Marsh's heartfelt memoir is a guide to self-love for the everyperson. And their story — one powered by audacity, truth and kindness — empowers us to be just as as assured and authentic as we are." —Tre'vell Anderson, author of We See Each Other: A Black, Trans Journey Through TV and Film

“Jeffrey Marsh went deep into the heart of their difficult childhood and they have emerged with a book of joy and triumph. Every activist needs to read this. If you give and give and can’t see the light sometimes, let Jeffrey comfort you, and inspire you to Take Your Own Advice.” —Alyssa Milano, actress, activist, and author of Sorry Not Sorry

“The only thing more beautiful than Jeffrey's story is Jeffrey themself. They are the nonbinary vision, the glorious gender nonconforming voice, that this broken world needs right now. Take my advice: buy this book and give it to everyone you love." —Jacob Tobia, bestselling author of Sissy

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