A powerful and much-needed collection that blends personal stories and resources to help members of liberal religious congregations foster accessible and inclusive communities for disabled people.
In Beloved as We Are, community minister and mental health advocate Barbara F. Meyers and disability justice activist Shelly Rohe invite members of liberal religious congregations into the ongoing work of creating accessible and inclusive communities for disabled people and their loved ones. The book brings to the forefront the experiences of disabled people in Unitarian Universalist communities through personal stories, revealing both moments of healing and belonging and the emotional and spiritual harm caused by exclusion, insufficient accommodations, and ableism.
Recognizing the wide spectrum of disability, including non-apparent and progressive conditions, Meyers and Rohe equip readers to move beyond good intentions. They include a detailed history of disability within Unitarian Universalism and resources about disabled identities, ableist language, disability justice, and more. They provide practical tools for congregations to assess their own communities and identify priorities for change. Meyers and Rohe encourage proactive, accountable allyship, noting that accommodation and inclusion are not just about physical or technological changes, but leadership opportunities, social engagement, pastoral care, and representation.
Every congregation has work to do around ableism and this work is never finished. Beloved as We Are offers both a call and a companion for communities committed to living their values more fully.
Preface
A Note on Language
Introduction
Every Congregation Has Work to Do
DISABILITY BASICS
Progressive Disabilities
Masking
The Stigma of Mental and Emotional Disabilities
Models of Disability
Disability Identity
Ableist Language
Disability Justice
COMMON RESPONSES TO DISABLED PEOPLE
Using Disabled People for Inspiration
Expecting Disabled People to Be Teachers
Pity
Conflation and Overgeneralization
Fear and Discomfort
Removing Disabled People from Public Awareness
Intrusive Questions
Fixing
Judgment
Centering the Disability Instead of the Person
Centering a Service Animal
Trivialization
Resentment and Silencing
Distrust
Defensiveness
ACCESSIBILITY AND INCLUSION
Use Universal Design
Disabled People’s Needs Aren’t “Special”
Learn What Your Community Needs
Don’t Ignore Competing Needs
Involve Disabled People in Planning
Maintain Equity and Independence
Value Adaptive Participation
Take Collective Responsibility
Leadership Must Lead
Change the Rules
Prioritize Need over Convenience
Don’t Make People Ask
Keep Reassessing
Address Social Barriers
Offer Opportunities to Contribute
Ensure Representation
IMPACTS OF ABLEISM
Internalized Ableism
Isolation
Cumulative Microaggressions
Exhaustion and Disappointment
MEETING SPIRITUAL NEEDS
Affirming Theology
Small Group Ministry
Spirituality and Neurodiversity
Spirituality and Mental Health
HELPING WELL
Bodily Autonomy and Personal Space
Offering Help
Pastoral Care
Accomplices: How to Be a Darn Good Ally
INTERSECTIONALITY
LESSONS FROM THE PANDEMIC
HOPE FOR THE FUTURE
Reflection Questions
Glossary
Surveys
Links to Resources
Introduction
This book is motivated by stories: the stories that disabled Unitarian Universalists have been telling for many years to leaders in our movement and congregations, to their fellow congregants, and most recently to us in response to our invitation. These stories have often not been heeded or acted upon, and have sometimes been dismissed as unimportant or too difficult to meaningfully respond to.
The message we want to convey to our beloved movement and to all Unitarian Universalists is this: heeding and acting on these stories thoughtfully, meaningfully, intentionally, urgently, and in partnership with disabled people is crucial to being who we say we are as Unitarian Universalists, to our individual spiritual vitality, and to that of our congregations. Disabled people are telling us that they are frequently unable to access our buildings and events, participate fully, feel a sense of belonging, or enjoy the spiritual benefits of our faith communities. Accommodations for disabled people are either insufficient or completely absent, their requests are dismissed or even mocked, and negative attitudes about disability are harming them. This is happening in the very places that are supposed to support and nurture them. This is unacceptable in a faith that proclaims love as its paramount value.
And yet there are other stories as well, stories that show how a faith community can uplift disabled people, help them heal from trauma, appreciate and nurture their gifts, support them, and value their presence. We must heed these stories as well. They show what is possible and the difference full, loving, enthusiastic welcome can make in the lives of people and communities.
We want to emphasize that our project is to promote both accessibility and inclusivity in Unitarian Universalist congregations. Accessibility alone isn’t enough; disabled people in accessible spaces and communities may still face physical or social isolation, encounter both micro- and macroaggressions, and be denied leadership opportunities. They may be ignored or treated as inconsequential or irrelevant. We want disabled people to be able not just to be present, not even just to participate, but to fully belong, to thrive. It’s also important to note that accessibility and inclusivity involve more than the physical buildings and grounds of a congregation and its use of assistive technologies. They also encompass communications, transportation, food and drink, representation, language, worship style, pastoral care, and socializing. Increasing the inclusion of disabled people in congregational life means recognizing disability as an integral part of the human experience. It means remembering that the worth and dignity of all people is a fundamental principle of our faith.
We can’t offer a one-size-fits-all approach to meeting the needs of disabled people. An important part of our message is the importance of engaging with the disabled people in your community to find out what they specifically want and need. We recognize that it is complex and daunting to try to meet everyone’s needs, especially when those needs may be in conflict with each other, and we acknowledge that much of the advice that is offered in this book (and elsewhere) about resisting ableism can seem contradictory unless you engage with nuance. We will address these dilemmas with the hope that you will finish reading this book feeling more confident that you can take on the important work of helping your community live out its values, empower disabled people, and make them feel at home.
You might also be interested in:
