Introduction to the Second Edition

Plans and Arrangements

The Wisdom of Making Your Own Arrangements

A Checklist

Reclaiming the Setting

Three Types of Religious Services

Planning A Traditional Funeral

Alternative Funeral Services

Preparatiuons to Enhance the service

The Rural Cemetery Movement

Cremation

Grief

The Long Process of Grieving

The Importance of a Religious Ceremony

Traditional Ceremonies

Protestant

Roman Catholic

Jewish

Distinctions

The Memorial Service

Joy and Woe are Woven Fine

Memory and Affirmation

The Counsel of Nature

Blessings and Affirmations

A Meditation of Candles

A Bouquet of Flowers

Golden Silence

Circles Within Circles

A Quilt of Memories and Love

Gathered By Love: A Service for the Loss of an Infant

A Hard Word To Say: A Service Supplement for Suicide

A Time To Die: A Service Supplement for Passive Euthanasia

Under the Rounding Sky: A Grave-Side Service

A Family Scattering of Ashes: A Story

More than Ashes: A Reading for the Interment of Ashes

The Eulogy

A Feisty Woman

Salt of the Earth

Running, But Not Running Away

An Excellent Minute, A Tragic Minute

Food and Socializing

Rituals of Remembrance

Living Memorials

Appendix A: Personals Plans and Arrangements

Appemdix B: Writing an Obituary

Appendix C: Personal History for Obituary

The Wisdom of Making Your Own Arrangements

Although death is not a pleasant topic to deal with, there are two strong reasons for planning ahead and leaving a set of instructions for your survivors. The most obvious reason is that your wishes and integrity will be honored. A second and equally important reason is that it shows consideration and respect for your survivors.

Death always comes as a shock, no matter how well prepared the bereaved may think they are. The grief that results is the deepest and most demanding of all human emotions. The physical and emotional systems of the bereaved undergo a series of protective, defensive, instinctive reactions based on the primal flight-or-fight response. Often, numbness and a sense of slow-motion time alter thought processes and emotional responses. Despite the disorientation that grief brings, the next of kin must make a series of decisions for which they usually have no experience. For their welfare, consider the range of options available to you. Consider the pressures and stresses that your survivors will experience.

With these significant considerations before you, you may be persuaded to preplan and even prepay for the arrangements you want. Appendix A, Personal Plans and Arrangements, is a simple, convenient, and valuable way of leaving your instructions to ensure your intentions and to assist and protect your survivors.

This form lists the various options available at death. In addition to the basic choices of funeral or memorial service, burial or cremation, it has provisions for indicating the arrangements you have made for organ donation or for giving your body to medical research.